Sharks Love Teenage Pregnancy.

They think it's hilarious, which it is.

Sharks Are In Your Head

You know how sometimes, you are about to say something and then you forget and are like “DAMMIT!” That doesn’t happen to sharks ever.

Because sharks are stealing your thoughts and memories, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Shark’s Blood Is The Most Expensive Liquid On The Planet.

It’s more expensive than oil, bottled water, glowstick fluid and printer ink.

Who Would Win In A Fight, Batman Or Superman?

Neither. A shark would win dumbass, and any plain old shark could do it. You don’t even need a super powered shark. But that’s irrelevant because it leads us directly into the next fact.

All sharks have super powers.

And no two sharks have the same powers. Each has their own unique power.

For instance, this shark is really good at surprises:


This one is really good at partying:
And this one can do this:

Sharks Invented Video Games

This is the earliest video game known to man or shark.
It was called “Donkey Shark.” It still is the funnest game ever to be created. Sharks traded their videogame technology for nuclear secrets as well as Hot Pocket technology with the Japanese.

That’s right sharks have Nukes and Japanese Hot Pockets. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Shorks!

Sharks were originally called “Shorks.” They had a big meeting with all the other badass creatures on earth (Bears, Wolves, Tigers, Dragons, Chupacabras, Sasquatches, Native Americans, etc.). At the tribunal of badassery, it was decided that “Sharks” was a way badasser name. So they changed it.

P.S. Before this meeting Wolves were called Ladyfingers.

Sharks Don't Swim

Sharks don’t appreciate their non dorsal fins being called fins because they are wings. Also they do not swim. They fly majestically through the water.