Sharks Have A CIA

Sharks have their own CIA system, with secret agents and stuff. They have a training program to train against terrorist armies, which according to them includes squids, renegade bears, and peoples.

Sharks Don't Like Flowers

Sharks don't like flowers unless they're dandelions because dandelions are really pretty.

Hot Chicks Love Sharks

And vice versa. No one really knows shit about why. Maybe it’s the super powers, maybe it’s the being totally badass. Whatever it is, sharks are irresistible to hot chicks. And when hot chicks are around sharks, it’s like they are allergic to their clothes, and like to get buck naked. This is a prime example of this phenomenon:

(Pictured above: hot ass chick riding a shark with turning into metal powers)

Sharks Understand Art

Sharks understand your art. And they think it's stupid.

Sharks Aren't Ticklish

Sharks don't laugh when you tickle them. They laugh when you try to punch them in the nose. Why? Obviously because they don't even have noses, you dumb dumb humans. Noses don't exist on other planets so sharks would never even consider having them.

Sharks Are Harry Potter

The only human written book that sharks like is Harry Potter because it’s deep as fuck and not gay. The original story actually involved sharks. Yeah, it had lots of them. Don’t hate.

But anyway, the government told J. K. Rowling that she had to remove the sharks from the books because it was way too close to the truth. Sharks are real, and they have magic powers, and the government doesn’t want you to know about it. You heard it here first folks.

Sharks Are Sharks

Above all other things, sharks are sharks. There are no ifs ands or buts about it. They always have, and always will be sharks. Don’t try to change them. It is totally useless, and only an idiot would try.


You’re just fixing what’s not broken. Practice what you preach, bitches. Don’t try to kill four stones with a bird bitch.