Sharks May Be People

But they are definitely not human. They are dancer.

Sharks Came Up With Cell Phones First

Sharks have been using shells as phones for way longer than you ever thought was possible and they're pissed that humans stole their idea. You think that it's a coincidence that cell phone sounds like shell phone? You sheeple.

So the shark that gives out cancer (it's his power) is giving all the bitch ass humans who use cell phones brain cancer. But don't think you're safe if you're not using cell phones because that means you're a fucking weirdo and sharks hate you anyways for being weird and will give you cancer in other ways, bitches. No one is safe.

Sharks Are Cooler Than You Are

Sharks drive fast and play music loud.

They only live to get radical.

What Are Sharks’ Best Attributes?

All of them, you idiot. You obviously haven’t been paying attention at all.

Just kidding, it’s their pretty eyes and their gorgeous skin.

When Sharks Roll, They Roll Hard.

They just know that it’s fun to do bad things.


Sharks like to do hood rat things with their friends.

Sharks Aren’t Born, They Just Are

Only a finite number of sharks can exist. The current number is 69,420,001. For a new shark to come into existence an old shark must die. Then the new shark then flies out of the old shark's mouth.

But sometimes this happens:

You Are Smothering Them

Sharks don't need attention so stop giving it to them.

A Brief History Lesson

A long time ago, when hybrid animals were the norm, purebred animals were special and magical.


During this time there was a great war…


The humans will never fully understand the intensity of this war because they doth be a bunch of whiny petunia bitchez.


This was the time of the street sharks!

Death Doesn't Scare Sharks

Sharks aren't afraid to die; they're afraid to live.

Technology

Sharks are made of technology. This ones name is Technology Werewolf. He came from the future to teach us about stuff, but then he decided not to.

Shark Dogs Wear Shoes

Besides wearing shoes, shark dogs are a shark’s best friend, and so are dogs.

The Truth

Sharks are actually burritos. Suck it.

News Flash

Sharks are from the planet Pandora. PSYCH! Just kidding they aren’t at all. I was testing you, and you failed. They are from the same planet as Transformers.

Cats are actually from the Avatar planet.

I can't believe you thought that sharks were gross enough to have grody ponytail sex with everything, only cats are raunchy enough for that.

Sharks Don't Need Umbrellas

For so many reasons they don’t need umbrellas, but most importantly because they like rain. And they do not like it because they think it's cool to say that they like it. It’s because they make rain. They shoot out from the water super fast and bust through the clouds breaking them open and making the rain fall out. So obviously they like it.

Sharks Are Really Deep

Nothing is deeper than sharks, except maybe the ocean, but not really because it's not. Sharks are deeper.

The picture below shows how deep the ocean is. Sharks are deeper than that in every way possible.

*click on image to enlarge

All Sharks Are Twins

All sharks are twins, and their souls are connected. If one dies, its twin feels the pain of the world.

Fuck J. K. Rowling

J.K. Rowling did NOT come up with the Harry Potter story. She learned about shark mythology and then changed the story to be between wizards and muggles, instead of sharks and everyone else.

FACT she is a stealing, lying bitch.

Shark Is King

We’ve all heard it before, and it’s total bullshit. Neptune is not the king of the ocean. He never was, and he never will be. He’s not the king of anything, except for a bunch of gay mermaids. I once saw a shark take a bite out of a rainbow. I would like to see a mermaid do that.

Sharks are obviously over four hundred times better than mermaids, and way more hardcore. The liberal media has propagated these lies about Neptune being worth a shit to hide the real truth. Neptune answers to this guy:

Pictures Can Be Deceiving

Don't let this picture fool you, like all other sharks, this shark is dangerous as hell. NEVER underestimate a shark or it will be the end of you. Capiche?

*Whoever drew this abomination needs to be shot. This is so inaccurate. Sharks are nothing like this. The person who concocted this slanderous propaganda is probably a loser. So stop it.

Sharks Have A CIA

Sharks have their own CIA system, with secret agents and stuff. They have a training program to train against terrorist armies, which according to them includes squids, renegade bears, and peoples.