Who Would Win In A Fight, Batman Or Superman?

Neither. A shark would win dumbass, and any plain old shark could do it. You don’t even need a super powered shark. But that’s irrelevant because it leads us directly into the next fact.

All sharks have super powers.

And no two sharks have the same powers. Each has their own unique power.

For instance, this shark is really good at surprises:


This one is really good at partying:
And this one can do this:

Sharks Invented Video Games

This is the earliest video game known to man or shark.
It was called “Donkey Shark.” It still is the funnest game ever to be created. Sharks traded their videogame technology for nuclear secrets as well as Hot Pocket technology with the Japanese.

That’s right sharks have Nukes and Japanese Hot Pockets. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Shorks!

Sharks were originally called “Shorks.” They had a big meeting with all the other badass creatures on earth (Bears, Wolves, Tigers, Dragons, Chupacabras, Sasquatches, Native Americans, etc.). At the tribunal of badassery, it was decided that “Sharks” was a way badasser name. So they changed it.

P.S. Before this meeting Wolves were called Ladyfingers.

Sharks Don't Swim

Sharks don’t appreciate their non dorsal fins being called fins because they are wings. Also they do not swim. They fly majestically through the water.

Ever Gotten A Prank Call? That Was A Shark.

...How do I know this? Because I’m a shark. But don’t tell the other sharks about this blog, they’d eat me alive. Just kidding, I‘m the strongest one. But still don’t fucking tell them, bitches.

Also, sharks can type way faster than any human. And they beat every single level on Mavis Beacon.

Sharks Have Christmas Everyday

Sharks have Christmas everyday, except when they’re sleeping. That’s why they don’t sleep.

Shark's Skeletons Are Made Of Gold

It’s true.

I know they told you that shark’s skeletons are made of some junk called cartilage. Well they lied straight to your face. Assholes, I know. So yeah they are made of gold. You are thinking this:

“Gold is a soft metal, and if they were hard they would be made out of platinum or adamantium.”
-You

Well let me welcome you to the real world dork. Gold is sure as hell harder than cartilage and if you could chose between gold and cartilage you would choose gold if you knew anything.

“But I’ve seen shark bones before in magazines and periodicals and shit.”
-You

Can you stop doubting me already? Those are fake. Sharks make those fake bones to trick us into thinking that they are from earth (which they aren’t).